How Heavy Should You Lift? A Simple Guide to Choosing the Right Weight

Your workout says:

3 sets of 8.

Simple enough.

But there is one important question left:

How much weight should you actually use?

Should all eight reps feel comfortable?

Should the last rep be a struggle?

Should you choose the heaviest weight you can possibly lift eight times?

Should every set go to failure?

And how do you know when it is time to increase the weight?

Choosing the right load is one of the most important parts of strength training—and one of the areas where people often receive the least guidance.

At BMF Training, we don’t believe an exercise prescription is complete just because someone knows the sets and reps.

We also want our athletes to understand:

Why are we doing this exercise?

What physical quality are we trying to develop?

How hard should this set feel?

What should the reps look like?

When should I add weight?

Because the right weight depends on the purpose of the exercise.

Start With the Goal

There is no universally correct weight.

The correct weight is the weight that allows you to create the training effect you are looking for.

That is an important distinction.

If we are trying to build maximum strength, the session may call for heavier weights, lower repetitions, and more recovery between sets.

If the goal is muscle development, we may work through moderate or higher repetition ranges with challenging sets performed close enough to failure to stimulate adaptation.

If we are training speed or power, the goal changes again.

Now the question is not simply:

“Can you lift it?”

It is:

“Can you move it fast?”

If the resistance is so heavy that an explosive movement becomes a slow grind, we have changed the purpose of the exercise.

The same concept applies to conditioning.

Sometimes the goal is a hard anaerobic effort.

Other times, we intentionally want a sustainable aerobic pace.

Training should match the adaptation we are trying to create.

That principle guides how we program for both our in-person and online athletes at BMF.

Sets and Reps Only Tell Part of the Story

Imagine we give two people this workout:

Goblet Squat — 3 × 10

Person A chooses a weight they could probably squat 25 times.

Person B chooses something so heavy that rep six looks completely different from rep one and they barely survive the set.

Technically, both completed 3 × 10.

But they did not experience the same training stimulus.

That is why sets and reps alone are not enough.

We also need some way to describe effort.

One of the easiest methods is something called Reps in Reserve.

What Are Reps in Reserve?

Reps in Reserve—or RIR—is simply an estimate of how many additional quality repetitions you could have performed when you finished the set.

For example:

If you complete eight reps and believe you could have done another three with good technique, you had approximately:

3 reps in reserve.

If you could have done one more:

1 RIR.

If there was absolutely no chance of completing another repetition:

0 RIR, or failure.

This gives us much more information than simply saying:

“Use a heavy weight.”

A simple way to think about it:

4+ RIR:
The set probably feels relatively comfortable. This may be appropriate for warm-ups, technique work, recovery sessions, or certain exercises, but it may be too easy for many working sets.

2–3 RIR:
A great range for many strength and hypertrophy sets. The work is challenging, but technique and execution remain strong.

1 RIR:
Very challenging. There may be times when we intentionally want to work here.

0 RIR:
True muscular failure. You could not complete another quality repetition.

These are guidelines—not rules.

The right effort depends on the exercise, goal, training experience, and where someone is within their program.

What Should a Challenging Set Feel Like?

One mistake newer lifters commonly make is choosing weights that never become particularly challenging.

If your program calls for 10 repetitions and you finish the set thinking:

“I probably could have done another 15.”

the weight may not be challenging enough to create the stimulus we want.

But the opposite can also happen.

If rep four looks great and reps five through eight become progressively more chaotic, the load may be too heavy.

That leads to a rule we use often:

Challenging does not mean sloppy.

The last few reps of a hard set should require effort.

They may move more slowly.

You should need to focus.

But you should still be able to maintain the major technical standards of the exercise.

More Weight Is Not Progress If the Movement Gets Worse

Adding plates to the bar feels good.

But the number on the bar does not tell the whole story.

Imagine someone increases their squat by 30 pounds.

But now:

Their depth becomes significantly shallower.

Their position changes.

They lose control.

And every repetition looks different.

Did they really get 30 pounds stronger?

Maybe not.

The same thing can happen with almost any exercise.

A heavier row that turns into a full-body swing is not necessarily better.

A bench press that requires the spotter to perform half the rep is not a personal record.

A heavier Romanian deadlift with less range of motion may simply be a different exercise.

Load is one measure of progress. Movement quality is another.

At BMF, we want both.

When Should You Increase the Weight?

A simple guideline is:

If you can complete the prescribed repetitions with good technique and still have approximately 2–3 quality repetitions available, you may be ready to increase the resistance.

The increase does not need to be dramatic.

For upper-body exercises, adding five pounds may be significant.

For some dumbbell movements, even moving from a 20-pound dumbbell to a 25-pound dumbbell represents a 25% increase.

Lower-body compound movements may tolerate larger jumps depending on the person and exercise.

The goal is not:

Add as much as possible.

The goal is:

Add enough to create a new challenge while preserving the intent of the movement.

Progressive Overload Does Not Only Mean More Weight

This is another important concept.

When people hear progressive overload, they often assume it means adding weight every workout forever.

That is only one form of progression.

You may also improve by:

• Performing more repetitions with the same weight

• Improving technique

• Increasing range of motion

• Controlling the eccentric portion better

• Moving the same load faster

• Needing less assistance

• Completing more quality work at the same effort

• Recovering more effectively between sets

• Becoming more consistent

For example:

Someone might use the same weight for three weeks but gradually improve from:

8 reps → 9 reps → 10 reps

That is progress.

Someone else might maintain the same load but squat deeper and with much better control.

Also progress.

Training is not just about constantly chasing bigger numbers.

It is about creating measurable improvement.

Not Every Exercise Should Feel the Same

This is where understanding exercise intent becomes especially important.

At BMF, we organize training around different physical qualities.

That means we do not coach every exercise with the same expectation.

Primary Strength Movements

For a major strength movement such as a squat, deadlift, or press, we generally want:

• High-quality repetitions

• Appropriate loading

• Enough rest to produce force

• Consistent technique

• Progressive overload over time

Depending on the phase, some working sets may become quite challenging.

But the goal is still quality strength work—not turning the exercise into conditioning.

Dynamic Effort / Power Work

When we program jumps, throws, explosive lifts, or speed-strength movements, the intention changes.

The priority becomes:

Speed.

If every repetition becomes slower and slower, we are losing the quality we are trying to develop.

For power training, adding more weight is not automatically better.

Sometimes the athlete who uses slightly less resistance and moves significantly faster gets the better training effect.

Accessory Exercises

Accessory exercises help us build muscle, strengthen supporting tissues, improve weak points, and create more balanced strength.

These sets may often be performed closer to muscular fatigue than our explosive exercises.

That may mean choosing a resistance where the final few repetitions are challenging while technique remains controlled.

Core Training

The goal is rarely to see how quickly you can finish.

We may be developing:

• Anti-extension

• Anti-rotation

• Trunk stiffness

• Rotational strength

• Control

Using more resistance is useful only if you can maintain the position the exercise is intended to train.

Conditioning

Now we have another completely different question:

What energy system are we trying to develop?

For a higher-intensity conditioning session, we may intentionally push toward harder efforts.

For aerobic development, we may specifically tell someone not to go too hard.

That can be difficult for competitive people.

But turning every aerobic session into an all-out effort changes the adaptation.

Again:

Intent matters.

This Is How We Program at BMF Training

Whether someone trains with us inside our Huntington Beach gym or follows a BMF program remotely, we want them to understand more than the exercise name.

We try to explain the goal and intent of the session.

For example, an athlete may see:

Safety Bar Squat — 4 × 8

But the coaching does not stop there.

We may explain:

• What the movement is developing

• What technique we want

• How challenging the working sets should become

• How much rest to take

• How the movement should progress over the training block

The same applies to conditioning.

Instead of simply writing:

Bike — 6 minutes

we may explain:

Maintain a sustainable aerobic pace around an RPE 5–6. You should feel like you are working but remain in control. Do not turn the first two minutes into a sprint.

That little bit of context completely changes the workout.

The exercise itself is only part of the prescription.

The intention tells you how to perform it.

Why We Give Our Online Clients Coaching Instructions

This becomes especially important for our online athletes because a coach is not physically standing next to them during every set.

Their program needs to communicate the things we would normally explain in person.

When appropriate, we include coaching information such as:

Session goal:
What are we trying to develop today?

Exercise intent:
Strength? Power? Muscle? Conditioning? Movement?

Effort:
How difficult should the working sets feel?

Rest:
How long should you recover before repeating the effort?

Technique:
What are the most important things to focus on?

Progression:
What should improve from week to week?

We also use exercise demonstrations and coaching notes to help athletes understand movements before they perform them.

The goal is not to give someone a list of exercises.

The goal is to give them a training program.

There is a difference.

RPE Is Another Useful Tool

Another way to measure effort is Rate of Perceived Exertion, or RPE.

A simple 1–10 strength-training scale might look something like:

RPE 6: Approximately 4 reps remaining
RPE 7: Approximately 3 reps remaining
RPE 8: Approximately 2 reps remaining
RPE 9: Approximately 1 rep remaining
RPE 10: Maximum effort / no reps remaining

We do not need every athlete obsessing over whether a set was exactly an 8.0 or 8.5.

It is simply another tool that helps communicate effort.

Instead of:

“Go heavy.”

we can say:

Work toward an RPE 8 today.

Now the athlete understands we want a challenging set without turning every repetition into a maximal effort.

Why Beginners Should Not Obsess Over Percentages

More experienced lifters may use percentages of their one-rep maximum to prescribe training.

That can be useful.

But a beginner probably does not need to worry about whether today's squat is exactly 72.5% of their one-rep max.

They may not even know their one-rep max—and there is often no reason to test it yet.

A beginner has more important priorities:

Learn the exercise.

Develop coordination.

Build confidence.

Create consistent technique.

Gradually increase resistance.

As experience increases, more advanced loading strategies may become helpful.

But complexity is not automatically better.

Do You Need to Train to Failure?

No.

Training to muscular failure can be a useful tool, particularly for certain accessory or muscle-building exercises.

But it also creates fatigue.

That means we need to consider whether the additional fatigue is worth it.

There is a big difference between taking a controlled set of biceps curls close to failure and repeatedly grinding heavy deadlifts until you physically cannot complete another rep.

For many working sets, you can create an excellent training stimulus while leaving 1–3 quality repetitions in reserve.

There may still be times when we push harder.

But failure should be a tool—not the default goal of every exercise.

Some Days the Same Weight Will Feel Different

Training happens inside your life.

You are not a machine.

A weight that felt easy last Tuesday may feel much heavier today because of:

• Poor sleep

• Stress

• Nutrition

• Dehydration

• Previous training

• Illness

• Work

• Travel

• General recovery

That does not mean your program has failed.

It means we sometimes need to adjust.

This is one reason we believe in structured training with room for autoregulation.

The plan gives us direction.

Your current readiness helps determine exactly how we execute that plan today.

Sometimes the correct decision is adding weight.

Sometimes it is keeping the same weight.

Sometimes it is lowering it.

Good training involves knowing the difference.

How Do You Know If You Picked the Right Weight?

Here is a simple checklist.

For most general strength-training working sets, ask:

1. Did I complete the prescribed repetitions?

2. Did I maintain good technique?

3. Were the final few reps challenging?

4. Could I probably have completed another 1–3 good repetitions?

If yes, you were probably in a productive range.

If the entire set felt effortless, you may need more resistance.

If your technique broke down halfway through, you may need less.

If speed was the goal and the weight moved slowly, you probably went too heavy.

If aerobic conditioning was the goal and you were completely redlined immediately, you probably went too hard.

The right intensity depends on the goal.

Your Workout Should Tell You More Than What to Do

One of our biggest beliefs at BMF Training is that people deserve to understand their training.

You should know:

Why you are doing something.

What it is supposed to improve.

How hard it should feel.

What good execution looks like.

And how you should progress it.

That is how training becomes more than a collection of exercises.

It becomes a process.

Whether we are coaching you in person or programming for you online, we want every piece of training to have a purpose.

Because the question should never simply be:

“How heavy can I go?”

A better question is:

“What weight helps me accomplish the goal of this exercise today?”

Once you understand that, choosing the right weight becomes much easier.

Want Help Taking the Guesswork Out of Your Training?

If you are tired of wondering what exercises to do, how heavy to go, or whether your workouts are actually moving you toward your goals, that is exactly where coaching can help.

At BMF Training, we offer:

• Small Group Training

• Semi-Private Training

• Personal Training

• Online Coaching

• Nutrition Coaching

• Hybrid coaching options

Your first step is a free 30 minute consultation where we learn about your goals, training history, schedule, and what you want to accomplish.

Then we help build the right plan around you.

📍 BMF Training | Huntington Beach, CA
🌐 bmf-training.com

Move Better. Feel Better. Get Stronger.

Because everyone deserves to be an athlete.